Adventures in Costco

I have spent the last three years of my life trying to find a balance between wanting to stay young and free and wanting to do things adults do — like having meals planned out for the week, wanting to own a home and feeling that clock starting to tick. Trust me, it repulses me to know that my brain has begun to acknowledge that there is a clock at all.

Living with my boyfriend has nudged me towards some adult tendencies. I do try to keep a meal plan in line, for instance, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t totally enjoy a dinner consisting solely of cheese and wine when my boyfriend is out with a friend. It has also introduced me to the benefits of Costco membership!

Yes, I had been to Costco before, but it had never been a regular stop seeing as I didn’t have a membership until he linked me to his. And, as a single girl, did I really need 50,000 rolls of paper towels or 40 eggs?

I wanted to share a recent Yelp review I wrote about my local Costco. I thought it perfectly described my feelings (and maybe yours!) about the mega store.

source: Huffington Post

Costco. Why must I love AND hate you?

On the weekend, it’s a zoo. The Costco I hate: Hundreds of people swinging around their giant carts with no care or awareness of those around them; Abandoning their carts in the middle of an aisle so that other people with their giant carts can try to maneuver around them; Sample ladies yelling about their product; Insane lines; The parking lot nightmare.

But then there’s the Costco we all love: The one that lets you have an insane amount of cheese for 7 bucks.  Where you can snag a bag of popcorn as big as your head for 3, and procure a huge case of wine for a better price than any other store. I find myself telling myself that I need something just because it’s double the size. Look at this giant jar of pickled asparagus! I NEED IT. Those damn sample ladies always rope me in one way or the other. I can’t pass up that amazing smelling garlic bread! Now I need 50 lbs of that garlic bread, don’t you understand?!

After you’ve walked around, you work up an appetite and need a hot dog or a slice of pizza that’s like 6,523,451 calories but it’s 2 bucks so it’s OK.

Then you have to wait in line behind all the bozos who can’t pick up the tempo or steer their giant carts just so someone can take a look at your receipt and items. Seriously, who is going to jack anything from this place? Where would you even hide it?! No, sir, I didn’t take anything from here! I am just 35 months pregnant.

More attack of the carts in the parking lot. Followed by people with either too little or too much patience making the parking lot a very dangerous situation. I am always terrified I will be t-boned or shanked by someone who has spent a little too much time at Costco and will kill in order to get home as fast as possible.

It’s a time suck, it’s jarring, and it’s wonderful. Costco, you are riveting. 

Do you share the same sentiments about Costco? Or, are they more mellow where you live? 

Let me know.